Chapter 4 Part 2在线视频

Coherence

Properly connect words or parts

in one sentence

An elegant sentence should be connected

We could achieve coherence with clear

and reasonable connection

between parts in a sentence

A sentence is coherent

when its words or parts are properly connected

and their relationships unmistakably clear

In this sentence

we cannot say

"we have great faith for her"

Instead, we could say

"we have great faith in her"

Without the preposition "in"

the sentence seems to be less coherent

misleading the readers to get two messages

We have great faith

We have high hopes for her

Emphasis

We all know that

in writing an essay

the organization of ideas

and paragraphs is important

However

organization is important

even at the sentence level

If you can control the

emphasis in your sentences

your writing will be much more clear

and persuasive

But how do we emphasize in a sentence

Make the topic the subject of the sentence

The topic of a sentence

is what the sentence is about

and can be expressed with a noun phrase

This noun phrase

should usually be in the subject position

To convey information

an effective sentence

must have both a topic

and a message

so with the topic in the subject position

the remainder of the sentence or clause

will be used to provide further information

about the topic, the message

We should emphasize the topic

which should be put in the subject position

If the subject is used for a concept

other than the topic

the topic will be relegated to a minor role

in the sentence, which is usually a mistake

Look at the three examples

In Example 12

the subject of the sentence is the patient

however

it is unlikely that the topic of the sentence

is the patient

It is much more likely to be one of the other

two important concepts

either chemotherapy in the Example 13

or cancer in the Example 14

Notice how in the latter

two examples the cause and effect relationship

between the chemotherapy

and the remission is emphasized

rather than the relationship between the patient

and the cancer

which is emphasized in the first sentence

Put the action in the verb

Another way to emphasize

is to put the action in the verb

and avoid nominalization

A nominalization is a noun phrase

that describes an action

A noun phrase that describes an action

is appropriate if the action

it describes is not being performed

by the subject of the sentence

For instance in Example 15

the noun exercise is the topic of the sentence

and although it describes an action

it should be the subject of the sentence

However

in Example 16

the subject of the sentence

my friend

is performing the action

so the action should be described

by a verb not a nominalization (Example 17)

Nouns made from verbs

can obscure the key actions of a sentence

and add length of a sentence

These nouns include intention (from intend)

proposal (from propose)

assessment (from assess)

expectation (from expect)

measurement (from measure)

argument (from argue)

occurrence (from occur)

existence (from exist) and so on

Keep the subject

verb

and object close together

Another principle of emphasizing the message

is to keep the subject

verb and object close together

The natural word order of an English sentence

is subject-verb-object

This is how you first learned to write

sentences

and it's still the best way

When you put modifiers

phrases

or clauses

between two or all three of these

essential parts,

you make it harder for

the user to understand you

In this sentence

the subject "women"

is distant from the verb "consider"

which is weakening the message

conveyed in the topic

Use the active voice

The active voice is usually more direct

and vigorous than the passive

However

in different sections of the paper

the passive voice is needed

when we emphasize the action

rather than the agent

In this sentence

if possible

use the active voice

rather than the passive voice

to emphasize the action of

"exploring" in the study

Be cautious of topic-comment structures

 while

The topic-comment structures are often

found in Chinese sentences

we should avoid them when writing in English

The topic of the sentence has been marked with

as for… construction

However

this makes it necessary to use the

pronoun "it" in the subject position

Notice how the sentence becomes

both shorter and more powerful

by eliminating the introductory

phrase "as for"

Place the more complex information

at the end of the sentence

Actually

The end of the sentence

is the most emphatic position

The beginning of the sentence

is the next most emphatic position

Place the most

persuasive part of a sentence

at the end of the sentence

Start a sentence with old information

and end it with new information

Begin a sentence

with simple information

and end it with complex information

In scientific and technical writing

placing the most complicated information

at the end of the sentence improves readability

Now

Compare the following two sentences

In the second sentence

the information itself

is in the position of emphasis

making it more memorable

Consequently

keeping in mind sentence-level emphasis

is extremely useful

in technical and instructional writing

Simplicity

English sentences are clearest

most forceful

and easiest to understand

if they are simple and direct

If instead

sentences are complicated and indirect

the reader is slowed down and even confused

Untangle adjective and noun clusters

A noun can be used to modify another

but if you use two or more nouns

to modify a noun

the string of words can be hard to read

because

it is difficult to determine their relations

Untangle the noun clusters

or adjective clusters

by adding the appropriate prepositions

and other words as needed

We can use

relative clauses to explain in detail

the relations between the modifiers

We can also use hyphens

to indicate the relations

between the nouns

In this sentence

the noun "differences"

are modified by

"minimal clinically important"

which is rather lengthy and confusing readers

We could use a relative clause

to specify the relations between

"minimal" and "clinically important"

Be cautious of the long sentences

with complicated structures

Using shorter sentences can also make

writing simple and concise

Long sentences with complex structures

make details hard to remember

and relationships hard to identify

Look at this long sentence

These sentences should be

broken into several shorter sentences

each containing only one or two ideas

Be cautious of wordy expressions

Be cautious of the wordy expressions

that include the unnecessary adverbials

"it is well known that"

"it is clear that"

"it is recognized that"

"in order to"

"for the purpose of"

"on a daily basis"

as well as unnecessary adverbs like

"quietly"

"really"

"generally" and so on

Look at this sentence

By eliminating "there are"

the writer could still

convey the message clearly

So avoid too often use of

"there be"

sentence patterns if not needed

Balance

A balanced sentence

is made up of two or more segments

which are equal or parallel

not only in length

but also in grammatical structure

and meaning

Parallel structure means

using the same pattern of words to show that

two or more ideas

have the same level of importance

This can happen at the word

phrase

or clause level

The usual way to join

parallel structures

is with the use of

coordinating conjunctions

such as "and" or "or"

Since balanced sentences

are featured by parallelism

writers need to use

parallelism with similar grammatical forms

structure

and word order

Put parallel ideas in pairs

Paris of ideas joined by "and"

"or"

"but"

or "yet"

should be written in parallel form

 In scientific writing

the parallel structure is effective

to make the paper accessible

In this sentence

a pair of idea

"macrovascular complications"

and "microvascular complications"

could be written in parallel form

by using "such as"

to introduce the specific

diseases under each category

The comparatives

"lower" and "higher"

should be in parallel structure

to achieve that balance in this sentence

In a series

with more than 3 ideas

the form of all the parallel items

must be the same

Put parallel ideas in series

In a series with more than 3 ideas

the form of all the parallel items

must be the same

In this sentence

the three actions of "observing"

"enquiring"

and "supporting"

should be in balanced structure

by changing to three parallel forms of

"observed"

"enquired"

and "supported"

Put parallel ideas in comparisons

When you are making a comparison

the two items being compared

should have a parallel structure

Comparing two items

without using parallel structure

can lead to confusion about

what is being compared

To decide whether to add "that"

or "those"

or to repeat the noun

determine whether the comparative

term is all together

in one spot or is split

In this example

the comparative term is together

We should add "those"

In this example

the comparative term is split

We do not need to add "those"