Chapter 5 Part 2在线视频

Part II Guiding principles

In this part

we will introduce you

the guiding principles

of paragraph writing in SCI papers step by step

1.Clear topic sentence

The foundation for the organization of a paragraph

is established through the first sentence

the topic sentence (Strunk 2006)

The function of this topic sentence

is to provide both the topic

and the message of the paragraph

Simply reading through the topic sentence

the readers will immediately grasp

the main idea of the paragraph

before digging into the details

Let’s take a look at this example

Example 1

If you are asked to write a paragraph

about how to cook tomato and eggs

which of the following three topic sentences

is the most appropriate

1.The topic of this paragraph

is How to cook tomato and eggs

2.Tomato and eggs

is a delicious and popular Chinese dish

3.Cooking tomato and eggs

requires five ingredients and five steps

As we mentioned before

topic sentence should include both the topic

and the message at the same time

Apparently sentence 1

only stated the topic of the paragraph

Sentence 2

though expressed one message

did not match the topic

of how to cook tomato and eggs

Only sentence 3 focused on both the topic

and the message of how to cook tomato and eggs

From this example

we learn that

The subject of the topic sentence

should be the topic of the paragraph

The message of the topic sentence

should match the message of the paragraph’s content

Let’s see another example on topic sentence

Example 2

Revise the topic sentence

for this paragraph to make it clearer

(sentence A)

The topic sentence should state the message

that medicine A was given in two doses

Then reorganize the details

in the supporting sentences (B–C)

to fulfill the expectation

created by your new topic sentence

Before revision

Guinea pigs were injected

with a total dose of 50 mg medicine A

given subcutaneously

After being anesthetized with medicine B

guinea pigs were injected

with medicine C

to counteract respiratory impairment

caused by medicine A

and 10 min later with medicine A (20 mg)

Two hours later

the guinea pigs were again

anesthetized with medicine B

and injected with medicine C

after which medicine A

(30 mg)

was again injected

Since the message is

medicine A was given in two doses

we should rewrite the topic sentence

to emphasize the point--two doses

instead of the total amount of 50 mg

Also

here

the sentence B and C

are not closely related to the message

in the topic sentence A

To better explain the topic sentence

we can add the important details

of first dose and second dose

before less important sentences

on medicine B and medicine C

Here is the revision

After revision

Medicine A (50 mg)

was injected into each guinea pig

subcutaneously in two sequential doses

The first dose was 20 mg

The second dose

given 2 hours later

was 30 mg

Before each dose of medicine A was given

anesthesia was induced

by injection of medicine B

In addition

to counteract respiratory impairment

caused by medicine A

medicine C was injected

into the guinea pig after anesthesia

was induced and 10 min before

medicine A was injected

So we can see

besides a clear topic sentence

that states both the topic

and message of the paragraph

Every sentence in the paragraph should be

a further explanation

of the message of the topic sentence

2.Clear order of details 2

One controlling idea

is generally developed in a paragraph

which is like a mini-essay

Of all the ways to organize the sentences

the most classic pattern often used

in scientific paper

is the structure of giving an overview first

which is shown in the topic sentence

and then explain it by the supporting sentences

How to organize the detailed information

in the supporting sentences is also important

since we don’t want to lose the readers

in the process of persuading

or informing them the controlling idea

Thus

the order of the details

that follow the topic sentence

should be logical

efficient and effective

How to achieve this goal

Let’s take a look at those following examples

examples 3

How to revise

the following paragraph to make it clearer

Before revision

Glucose comes from two major sources

food and liver

When the glucose levels are low

such as when people haven't eaten in a while

the liver breaks down stored glycogen

into glucose to keep

the glucose level within a normal range

Liver also stores and makes glucose

Many foods contain

a combination of carbohydrate

protein

and fat

The amount of each in the food eaten

affects how quickly bodies

change that food into glucose

How do you feel about this paragraph

Although the topic sentence

is very easy to identify

at the beginning of the paragraph

that is

Glucose comes from two major sources

food and liver

the following sentences are not logically ordered

as the topic sentence stated

We could change the paragraph like this

After revision

Glucose comes from two major sources

food and liver

Many foods contain a combination of carbohydrate

protein

and fat

The amount of each in the food eaten

affects how quickly

bodies change that food into glucose

Liver also stores and makes glucose

When the glucose levels are low

such as when people haven't eaten in a while

the liver breaks down stored glycogen

into glucose to keep the glucose level

within a normal range

In this way

we introduced how food provides glucose

and then liver according to the topic sentence

This is the pattern of

introducing the details in the announced order

No matter how you want to arrange

the supporting sentences

the primary principle is that

The order of details should be logical

In order to fulfill this goal

of being logical

here are some commonly used

orders of details that you could follow

A list of common orders of details

in academic writing

time/chronological order

process

space

emphasis/logical/topical order

announced order in the topic sentence

pro-con

problem-solution

solution-problem

example or generalization

comparison and contrast

cause and effect

classification

definition

Among the list

the most common orders of details

used in SCI papers are

time/chronological order

(mostly used in methods results section)

emphasis/logical/topical order

it could be either

least to most important

or

most to least important

announced order in the topic sentence

follow the exact order

mentioned previously in the topic sentence

(mostly used in methods section)

pro-con present evidence

that supports the message in the topic sentence

then evidence that contradicts

the message in the topic sentence

(and vice versa mostly used in results section)

problem-solution

(and vice versa mostly used in methods section)

Please notice that there is no right or wrong

orders of details

As long as the supporting sentences

are logically organized to explain

the topic and message in the topic sentence

the paragraph is well written

Here is another example

of a less sophisticated paragraph

Example 4

How to revise the paragraph to make it clearer

Before revision (order of time)

The patient was given a total dose

of 100 mg aspirin

First the patient’s blood pressure

and body temperature were measured and recorded

followed by a control period

of thirty minutes

And then aspirin (50mg)

was given to the patient

One hour later the patient’s blood pressure

and body temperature were measured again

Thirty minutes later the final dose of aspirin

(50mg) was given

Apparently the topic sentence is

The patient was given a total dose

of 100 mg aspirin

What is the order of details in this paragraph

The writer chose the chronological order

or the order of time

However

in this way

the patient’s blood pressure

and body temperature were measured

as well as aspirin was given to the patient

were both repeated twice in the paragraph

In order to make the text

more concise and clear

we can revise the paragraph by changing into

the order of emphasis

to be specific

most to least important

We point out the dose first

and then the patient’s

blood pressure and temperature

After revision

(order of emphasis most to least important)

The patient was given a total of

100 mg of aspirin in two consecutive doses

The first dose (50mg)

was given one hour

before the second dose (50mg)

Before each dose

the patient’s blood pressure and temperature

was recorded followed by

a thirty-minute control period

From this example

we know that

The order of details should be efficient

The order of details will be efficient

if they allow for a minimum of repetition

To eliminate repetition

change of orders

can be taken into consideration

Sometimes with a topic sentence

and a clear order of details

we still find that our text

is not dramatic enough

to catch the reader’s attention

Let’s look at the previous example again

Example 5

How to revise the paragraph

to make it more focused

Before revision (order of time)

First the patient’s blood pressure

was measured and then

his body temperature was taken

Thirty minutes later

the patient was given 50mg aspirin

Finally

the patient’s blood pressure

and body temperature were measured

once more and thirty minutes later

the patient was given a second

50mg dose of aspirin

In this example

a strict order of chronological order is used

and thus no detail

feels more important than others

which diminished

the main emphasis of the paragraph

By using the topic sentence

to express the most important topic and message

this message will be established

as the focus of the paragraph

And if the details that follow are sequenced

from most to least important

then that variable will continue to stand out

from among the others

In the following revision

the blood pressure measurement

immediately becomes the focus of the paragraph

The administration of aspirin

and the measurement of body temperature

is mentioned in the second and weakest position

After revision

(order of emphasis most to least important)

The patient’s blood pressure

was taken and recorded twice

Thirty minutes after the first measurement

the patient was given 50mg aspirin

directly followed

by the second measurement

Thirty minutes after the second measurement

the patient was again given 50mg aspirin

At the time of both blood pressure measurements

the patient’s body temperature

was measured and recorded

From this

we learn that

The order of details should be effective

A paragraph is effective

if the most important details

stand out from the rest

so the order of emphasis is recommended