Chapter 5 Part 6在线视频

Part IV Practice

In this lesson

we have gone through the guiding principles

of paragraph writing in SCI papers

which are the clear topic sentence

clear order of details

consistent flow of ideas

and finally consistent point of view

In this part

let’s review what we have covered together by

finishing the practices

First

let’s do a practice on topic sentence

Practice 1

If you are asked to add

a topic sentence to this paragraph

which is the most appropriate

If you have dry eyes

your eyes may sting or burn

You may experience dry eyes

in certain situations

such as on an airplane

in an air-conditioned room

while riding a bike

or after looking at a computer screen

for a few hours

A.Dry eyes is a common condition

B.

Treatments for dry eyes

include lifestyle changes and eyedrops

C.Dry eyes feel uncomfortable

Answer C

Now let’s focus on the order of details

let’s see the following paragraph

and revise it to make the order of details

more logical

efficient

and effective

Practice 2

【A】A full moon occurs about 12 times a year

and has always been drawing people’s attention

from the past to the present

causing possible traffic problems

【B】A full moon might lead to changes

in surrounding traffic behaviors

such as drawing the attention

from other motorists or pedestrians

from noticing an oncoming motorcycle

【C】The primary cause of motorcycle crashes

is glancing at a full moon takes

the motorcyclist’s gaze off the road

which could result in a loss of control

【D】We hypothesized that

because people’s attention

is naturally drawn to a full moon

it might contribute to fatal

motorcycle crashes

From the paragraph

we can notice that

full moon draws attention

has been repeated for almost every sentence

In order to decrease repetition

and put more emphasis

on the primary cause

of motorcycle crashes caused by full moon

we can change the order to order of emphasis

most to least important (【B】【C】【D】)

and change wording of the details like this

Answer

【A】 A full moon occurs about 12 times a year

and has been a source of fascination

of people in traffic

【B】We hypothesized that because

people’s attention is naturally drawn to a full moon

it might contribute to fatal motorcycle crashes

【C】The primary cause is glancing at

a full moon takes the motorcyclist’s

gaze off the road

which could result in a loss of control

【D】A full moon might also lead to changes

in surrounding traffic behaviors

such as distracting other motorists

or pedestrians from noticing

an oncoming motorcycle

Now let’s see the part of

consistent flow of ideas

Practice 3

Please identify the problems

and revise the paragraph

We did a systematic search

for relevant articles published

between 1960

and restricted to the English language

We considered studies if they evaluate

association between macronutrient intake

and total mortality or cardiovascular disease

The studies cited in this report

were not an exhaustive list of existing research

Answer

The verb tenses are not consistent

throughout the paragraph

Revision We did a systematic search

for relevant articles published between 1960

and restricted to the English language

We considered studimes if they evaluated

association between macronutrient intake

and total mortality or cardiovascular disease

The studies cited in this report

are not an exhaustive list of existing research

The second sentence talked about studies

that have done the evaluation already

so the verb tense should be past tense

However

in the last sentence

the writer is simply stating the fact

that the cited studies are not exhaustive

so the verb tense should be present tense

Practice 4

How to make the paragraph

more consistent by adding connective words

phrases

or clauses

Some evidence suggests that

cooking vegetables can degrade nutrient

and enzyme content

and possibly create harmful byproducts

For some nutrients such as lycopene

and β carotene

their bioavailability

might be enhanced by cooking

Answer Some evidence suggests that

cooking vegetables can degrade nutrient

and enzyme content

and possibly create harmful byproducts

However

for some nutrients such as

lycopene and β carotene

their bioavailability

might be enhanced by cooking

Apparently in practice 4

the two sentences show the contrast

of different kinds of nutrients

so we can add the connective word

However to demonstrate

Practice 5

How to make the paragraph more consistent

by adding connective words

phrases

or clauses

Several mechanisms have been proposed

to explain the lower risk of cardiovascular disease

with higher consumption of fruits

vegetables

and legumes

Antioxidants and polyphenols

in fruits and vegetables

such as vitamin C

vitamin E

and carotenoids

might prevent lipid oxidation

in arterial vessel walls

lower blood pressure

and improve endothelial function

Answer

Several mechanisms have been proposed

to explain the lower risk

of cardiovascular disease

with higher consumption of fruits

vegetables

and legumes

One explanation is that

antioxidants and polyphenols

in fruits and vegetables

such as vitamin C

vitamin E

and carotenoids

might prevent lipid oxidation

in arterial vessel walls

lower blood pressure

and improve endothelial function

From the first sentence

we know the following text

will list the different mechanisms

Thus

we can add a connective clause

One explanation is that

as a smooth transition to the next sentence

Practice 6

How to revise the paragraph

to make it more consistent

between the sentences

by repeating key terms

Addison's disease

also called adrenal insufficiency

is an uncommon disorder

that occurs when the body doesn't produce

enough of certain hormones

The adrenal glands

located just above the kidneys

produce too little cortisol and

often

too little aldosterone in Addison's disease

Answer Addison's disease

also called adrenal insufficiency

is an uncommon disorder

that occurs when the body doesn't produce

enough of certain hormones

In Addison's disease

the adrenal glands

located just above the kidneys

produce too little cortisol and

often

too little aldosterone

Practice 7

How to avoid sudden shift

of the sentence topics in this paragraph

by putting old information before new

Medical records research involves

the use of information

collected from medical records

Researchers can see how diseases

progress and which treatments

and surgeries work best

Answer Medical records research involves

the use of information collected from medical records

By studying the medical records

of large groups of people

over long periods of time

researchers can see

how diseases progress and which treatments

and surgeries work best

 And finally

let’s talk about consistent point of view

Practice 8

How to revise the following paragraph

Four hundred healthy

willing and age-matched

participants were randomly

and evenly divided into a facemask

or a non-facemask group

The facemask group wore a cotton face mask

throughout their public commute time

and the non-facemask group

wore no covering over their faces

At the end of 60 days we compared

the incidence of viral infections

between the two groups

Answer Four hundred healthy

willing and age-matched participants

were randomly and evenly divided

into a facemask or a non-facemask group

The facemask group wore a cotton face mask

throughout their public commute time

and the non-facemask group

wore no covering over their faces

At the end of 60 days

the incidence of viral infections

was compared between the two groups