Chapter 3 Part 3在线视频

When two different forms exist

that clearly and precisely

express the intended meaning

usually the simplest form is best

A good rule to follow

When a concept or relationship is complex

try to express it as simply as possible

when a concept or relationship is simple

do not artificially make it complex

In Example 20

the concept of male and female children

is being expressed in such a way

that requires one more word than the simpler

and more common way of expressing the concept

boys and girls

A word that is in common use

is not necessarily and unsuitable

for academic writing

so if a concept can be expressed

clearly with one word instead of two

then it probably should be so

Look at Example 20

A total of 4 male

and 3 female children

were included in the study

Example 21

A total of 4 boys and 3 girls

were included in the study

Here we don’t need to use male female children

We just use boys and girls

Contractions (Example 22)

are the written representation of an oral language form

and they should be avoided in academic writing

Always unpack the contraction

and write out the complete form like in Example 23

Example 22

The degree of conformity to the enclosure

can’t be assumed

Example 23

The degree of conformity to the enclosure

cannot be assumed

The number of shortened terms used within

a section should be controlled

for the sake of the reader

Remember one or two abbreviations

or acronyms within a subsection or section

is acceptable

however

every added

shortened form makes reading

more difficult for the reader

The exceptions are abbreviations

and acronyms that are better known

than the full form

for example DNA and SARS

However

it cannot be assumed that

an abbreviation that is well known among specialists

is universally well known

Now let’s summarize this chapter

Academic writing at the phrase level

should be clear

precise and simple

Clarity can be achieved in noun phrases

by careful choice of articles

Clarity can be achieved in verb phrases

by careful choice of modal verbs

Ambiguity can be avoided

by choosing the most precise phrase

Writers should not choose words

that are unduly complex

choose the simplest form possible

as long as the form is precise and clear

Practice 1

Analyze the following four sentences

Which one is the best example

in the academic style

Illustrate your choice

1) We wish to suggest a structure

for the salt of DNA

that has novel features that are of

considerable biological interest

2) We wish to suggest a structure

for the salt of deoxyribose nucleic acid (DNA)

It has novel features

which are of considerable biological interest

3) We wish to suggest a structure

for the salt of deoxyribose nucleic acid (DNA)

This configuration has novel features

which are of considerable biological interest

4) We wish to suggest a structure

for the salt of deoxyribose nucleic acid (DNA)

for the salt of deoxyribose nucleic acid (DNA)

This structure has novel features

which are of considerable biological interest

2

Which of the following sentences do you think

is not in agreement with academic style

1.Children with no father

as a role model will become criminals

2.Children with no father as a role model

may become criminals

3.Children with no father as a role model

could become criminals

3

Rewrite the following noun clusters

to express their meanings more clearly

1.filament length variability

2.a hospital employee relations improvement program

Practice 4

Rewrite the following sentences

to express their meanings more clearly and precisely

1.There were 41 hospitalizations

with similar numbers in the three day

and five day treatments (18 and 23, respectively)

2) Certain surgical procedures

are known to be capable of

inducing malignant tumors

although the ways in which this can happen

have been classified as rare and very rare

3) The effectiveness of mammographic screening

for breast cancer depends on

its ability to detect

and to exclude the presence of breast cancer

measured as the sensitivity

and specificity of mammography

respectively

Now let’s come to the answers

Practice 1

1) This version is more clumsy

and also ambiguous

it is not clear now

whether it is the suggested structure

or the salt of DNA itself

that has the novel features

2)and 3) Many writers would have started

the second sentence with a pronoun

such as It

or used a synonym

such as This configuration

neither device would have been as effective

as repeating structure

4) This is the best sentence. It is direct

We wish to suggest

not In this communication

is made a suggestion

It comes straight to the point

They could have started

with a general statement about DNA

Deoxyribose nucleic acid

is a nucleotide that has been isolated

from many species

We wish to suggest

To write this would have reduced the impact

They make two simple statements

in two short sentences

They are not afraid of using the same word

structure

twice

Every word is necessary

We wish to suggest a structure for the salt

not We propose a possible structural

hypothesis concerning the salt

They even avoid molecular structure

there being no other type of structure

to which they could be referring

And

while most writers would probably write

We would like to

they use the elegant We wish to

Every word is the correct word

particularly novel

NOVEL

They write features which are of

considerable biological interest

not features associated

with considerable biological interest

We appreciate that

in offering this analysis

of just two associated with considerable

biological interest

2

The first sentence 1) The grammar is ok

but it is not possible to conclude that

all children with no father

as a role model will become criminals

Be careful when you are making

assessments in this way

Will is 100% going to happen

so avoid using it

to make generalizations

about everybody/everything

unless you know it is 100% true

Here we mention some Modal Verbs/Adverbs

Used for Certainty of Conclusion

Certainty of Conclusion

We have Strong Moderate Tentative

Modal Verbs/Adverbs

We can use are listed here

3

1) filament length variability

After revision, we may say

variability of the length of the filaments

Or variability of filament length

2) a hospital employee relations

improvement program

After revision

a program

to improve relations

among employees in hospital

Practice 4

1) There were 41 hospitalizations

with similar numbers in the three day

and five day treatments (18 and 23 respectively)

Here two words: hospitalizations and respectively are not good choices

The hospitalizations are patients

who were not in treatments

but were in groups

receiving either three-day

or five-day treatment

So this sentence

can be rewritten like: Forty-one patients

were admitted to hospital

18 from the three-day treatment group

and 23 from the five-day group

two

Certain surgical procedures

are known to be capable of

inducing malignant tumors

although the ways in which this can happen

have been classified as rare and very rare

There are many

superfluous words in this sentence

And known to be is not a good word choice

So this sentence can be rewritten like

Certain surgical procedures

can induce malignant tumors

although rarely

Classification of the different ways

in which surgery causes tumors

should follow in another sentence

3) The effectiveness of mammographic screening

for breast cancer depends on

its ability to detect

and to exclude the presence of breast cancer

measured as the sensitivity

and specificity of mammography

respectively

In this sentence, there are superfluous words

and some word choices are not good like presence of and respectively

There is no need to repeat mammography

Sensitivity and specificity

are not the easiest measures to understand

so it is unwise to separate them

from their everyday synonyms

So this sentence can be rewritten like

The effectiveness of mammography

depends on how well it detects cancer

(its sensitivity)

and how well it excludes cancer

(its specificity)

Here it’s better to repeat cancer

than to have another it in the sentence