第32讲 改变自己—压力应对在线视频

当你面对生活的冲击
When you face the impacts of life

你会如何处理
what will you do?

当你遭遇不幸
When you encounter misfortune

你将如何应对
how will you deal with it?

生活中的应激源
The stressors in life

肯定会扰乱我们的生活
will certainly disturb our lives

甚至会危及我们的生命
even endanger our lives

所以我们必须学会应对压力
so we must learn to cope with stress

所谓应对
Coping refers to

指的是对付那些
the process of dealing with

被知觉为紧张或超过了个体资源
the internal or external requirements that are perceived to be tense

所及的内在或外在要求的过程
or beyond the reach of individual resources

应对可能包括行为的 情绪的
Coping may include behavioral, emotional

或动机上的反应及想法
or motivational responses and thoughts

有很多生活事件是可以预期的
There are a lot of life events that can be expected

即使问题还没有发生
Even if the problem hasn't happened

我们也知道问题只要来了
we know that as long as the problem comes

就会让我们压力山大
it will make us stressed

对于这类事件
For this kind of events

我们可以进行预先应对
we can adopt the anticipatory coping

比如 如果考试必将到来
For example, if the exam is bound to come

为了考试取得好成绩你可以努力学习
you can study hard or ask others for advice

或者向别人求教
in order to get good results in the exam

也可以预想
We can also foresee

如果失败了要怎样保持内心的平衡
how to keep the inner balance if we fail

如果开车上班一定会堵车
If you are sure to be stuck in traffic when driving to work

就可以考虑避开高峰期
you can consider avoiding the rush hour

或者通过导航避开拥堵路段
or avoid the congested road by navigation

面对压力情境
In the face of stress situations

社会支持
social support

可以成为我们的应对资源
can be our coping resources

社会支持是别人提供的一种资源
Social support is a kind of resource provided by others

表现为多种形式
which can take many forms

第一种形式是情感
The first form is emotional support

如果你能感受到被爱
If you can feel loved

被关心 被尊重
cared for and respected

你生活在一个
and if you feel living in a

彼此联系 相互帮助的社会网络中
social network that connects and helps each other

你就能感受到强大的社会支持
you will have strong social support.

第二种形式是有形的支持
The second form is tangible support

比如我们的朋友临时缺钱了
For example, if our friend is short of money temporarily

借给他钱就是有形的支持
lending him money is tangible support

有时开车接送
Sometimes providing transfer

或者提供临时住所
help or temporary shelter

也能提供有形的支持
is tangible support too

第三种形式是信息支持
The third form is information support

比如中肯的建议
such as pertinent suggestions

个人反馈
personal feedback

个人反馈
useful information and so on

有用的资讯等等
useful information and so on

有用的资讯等等

任何一个与我们有联系的人
Anyone who has contact with us

不管是家庭成员 朋友
no matter family members friends

还是同事 邻居等
colleagues, neighbors, etc

都可以成为社会支持网络的一部分
can become a part of social support network

很多研究发现
Many studies have found that

当有别人可以依靠的时候
when there are people to rely on

人们就能更好地
people can better deal with

处理工作压力 失业
work pressure, unemployment

婚姻困扰 严重疾病以及各种灾难
marital distress, serious diseases and various disasters

有一个研究
There was a study that

让一些已婚女性
married women were exposed to

遭受一定概率的电击
a certain probability of electric shock

结果发现
It turned out that

女性只要握着丈夫的手
as long as the women hold their husbands' hands

她们的大脑反应就会发生明显变化
their brain responses changed dramatically

好像面临的威胁
as if the threat they face

变得不再那么危险一样
is less dangerous

当然 我们的人际关系
Of course, our relationships

既可能成为我们的社会支持网络
can be our social support network

也可能成为我们的应激源
or stressors

有的女性说
Some women said

本来希望你能为我挡风遮雨
I have hoped you could protect me from wind and rain

没想到你就是风雨
however, you are the wind and rain finally

这种情况下
In this case

社会支持变成了压力源
social support becomes a stressor

面对压力源
In the face of stressors

我们进行应对的方式有两类
there are two ways of coping

第一类是问题指向的应对
the first is problem oriented coping

第二类是情绪指向的应对
and the second is emotion oriented coping

问题指向的应对
Problem oriented coping

就是通过直接的行动
is to deal with problems through direct actions

或问题解决行为来应对
or problem-solving actions

也就是迎难而上
that is, to face difficulties

这种应对方法有三种
There are three ways to deal with this

第一种是斗争
The first is struggle

面对问题
In the face of problems

我们直接摧毁问题
we can destroy them directly

或者削弱威胁
or weaken the threat

比如
For example

老板给我们布置很难的任务刁难我们
the boss assigns us difficult tasks

但我们努力争取各种资源
we work hard and get various resources

完成了任务
to complete the task

第二种是逃跑
The second is escape

面对威胁
In the face of threats

我们选择让自己远离
we choose to keep ourselves away

比如
For example

老板故意刁难我们
if the boss deliberately made trouble for us

我们惹不起躲得起
we can only avoid it

离职也是一种办法
Leaving is also a way

第三种是选择斗争或逃跑
The third is to choose to fight or flight

也就是磋商 讨价还价 折衷
that is, to negotiate, bargain and compromise

比如
For example

老板故意刁难我们
if the boss deliberately creates difficulties for us

我们就减少对工作的付出
we will reduce the payment for the work and discount the tasks

对老板安排的任务打折扣
arranged by the boss

问题指向的应对
Problem oriented coping

问题指向的应对
is effective for controllable stressors

对于可控的应激源是有效的
is effective for controllable stressors

对于可控的应激源是有效的

对于那些不可控的应激源
For those uncontrollable stressors

情绪指向的应对方式是有效的
emotion oriented coping is effective

也就是通过行动来改变自己
that is, to change ourselves through actions

而不是改变应激源
rather than change stressors

第一种做法是改变我们的躯体
The first is to change our bodies

比如
For example

如果很抑郁
if you are depressed

就服用抗抑郁药物等等
you can take antidepressants

如果很焦虑
If you are anxious

就服用抗焦虑药物
you can take anti-anxiety drugs

或者通过冥想来减轻焦虑感
or reduce your anxiety through meditation

更常用的方法是
A more common approach is

改变我们的认知
to change our cognition

认知心理治疗的理论家艾利斯和贝克
According to Ellis and Beck,theorists of cognitive psychotherapy

他们认为 诱发性事件并不必然带来
activating events did not necessarily bring

情绪或行为的结果
about emotional or behavioral consequences

是否会带来问题
Whether they brought about problems

取决于我们对这些事件的解释和评价
depended on our interpretation and evaluation of these events

如果我们对事件
If we had irrational

有不理性的 错误的信念和假设
and wrong beliefs and assumptions about events

就容易带来问题
it was easy to bring problems

比如
For example

一个姑娘的男朋友跟别人好了
when a girl's boyfriend is close to someone else

女孩就想 离开了他
the girl thinks, without him

我的人生将毫无意义
my life will be meaningless

这个女孩就会很受伤
and the girl will be very hurt

如果女孩想
if the girl thinks

离开他虽然遗憾
although I am sorry to leave him

但我也有了找到
but I also have the chance to

更好男朋友的机会
find a better boyfriend

the girl's sadness will be much lower

这个女孩的悲伤程度就会低得多
the girl's sadness will be much lower

这个女孩的悲伤程度就会低得多

著名的积极心理学之父 美国宾夕法尼亚大学的
Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania

塞利格曼认为
the famous father of positive psychology believed that

如果采取乐观的解释风格
if we adopted an optimistic interpretation style

就能有效避免抑郁
we could effectively avoid depression

他认为
He believed that

人们在解释不幸事件
when people interpreted unlucky events

和幸运事件时
and lucky events

会从时间维度
they would make different interpretations from time dimension

普遍性维度
universality dimension

人格化维度进行不同的解释
and personification dimension

从而形成乐观
thus forming an optimistic

和悲观的解释风格
and pessimistic interpretation styles

乐观的人对于幸运事件
Optimistic people will interpret lucky events

会解释为在时间维度上是永久的
as permanent in the time dimension

在普遍性维度上是普遍的
universal in the universality dimension

在人格化维度上是由自己导致的
and self induced in the personification dimension

而对于不幸事件
And they will interpret unlucky events

他会解释为时间维度上是暂时的
as temporary in time dimension

普遍性维度上是局部的 特定的
partial and specific in universality dimension

在人格化维度上是非人格化的
impersonal in personification dimension

跟自己没有关系的
and have nothing to do with themselves

而悲观的人在所有方面都是相反的
The pessimists are the opposite in all respects

比如
For example

假如我讲课讲得很好
if I give a good lecture

大家都很喜欢
and everyone likes it

我应该怎么解释这个幸运事件呢
how can I interpret this lucky event?

我这么想
If I think

瞎猫碰见死耗子而已
"Every dog has his day"

这种解释就是暂时的
this explanation is temporary

局部的 非人格化的
partial and impersonal

这是一种悲观的解释
which is a pessimistic one

如果解释为
If it is interpreted as

我就是这么会讲课
"this is how I can teach"

这种解释就是永久的
this explanation is permanent

普遍的 人格化的
universal and personalized

这是一种乐观的解释
which is an optimistic explanation

假如我讲课讲得很差
If I give a poor lecture

大家都很讨厌
and everyone hates it

我应该怎么解释这个不幸事件呢
how can I interpret this unlucky event?

如果我解释为
If I explain it as

我没有讲课天分 永远都讲不好
"I have no talent to lecture, I will never do well"

这种解释是永久的
this explanation is permanent

普遍的 人格化的
universal and personal

这就是一种悲观的解释
which is a pessimistic one

如果我解释为
If I explain that

讲课讲得不好是因为
"the reason why I didn't do well is that

太忙没准备好
I was too busy to prepare

这种解释就是暂时的
this explanation is temporary

局部的 非人格化的
partial and impersonal

这是一种乐观的解释
which is an optimistic one

采取这种解释
With this explanation

我的心情就好多了
I will feel much better.

如果能够找到我们对事件的不合理的评价和解释
If we can find our unreasonable evaluation

我们跟自己的不合理的
and explanation of the event

评价和解释进行辩论
debate with them

试着攻击那些
and try to attack those ideas

让我们不愉快的想法
that make us unhappy

就能在一定程度上
our negative emotions

减少我们的负面情绪
will be reduced to a certain extent

心理学家发现
Psychologists have found that

这种做法不会无聊
this approach is not boring

反而非常有趣
but very interesting

而且对于应对压力所引起的
and it is very effective in coping with

抑郁和焦虑是很有效的
depression and anxiety caused by stress

好 今天的课就讲完了
OK, that's all for today

我们来回顾一下主要内容
Let's review the main content

面对可能出现的威胁
In the face of possible threats

我们可以进行预先应对
we can adopt the anticipatory coping

或者以社会支持作为应对资源
or take social support as response resources

面对压力
In face of stress

我们可以采取问题指向的应对
we can adopt problem oriented

应对和情绪指向的应对策略
and emotion oriented coping strategies

下次课我们将会讲到
Next time we will talk about

我们如何才能获得幸福
how we can get happiness

好 下次再见
OK, see you next time