第40讲 膨胀的自我—自尊运动在线视频

现在非常流行自拍
Now it's very popular to take selfies

很多人在网上晒出了自己的自拍照
Many people post their own selfies on the internet

其中有不少是在健身的时候自拍的
many of them take selfies while exercising

我们为什么要自拍
Why do we take selfies?

拍照本身是为了看
The purpose of taking photos is to see

这实际上是前面我们讲过的“自我”的“自我认识”部分
This is actually the "self-cognition" which is a part of the "self"

通过自我认识
Through self-cognition

我们产生自我概念
we generate self-concept

另外
In addition

我们在自我认知的基础上还会对自己的自我概念进行评价
we will evaluate our self-concept on the basis of self-cognition

这就是自尊
which is self-esteem

自尊本质上是自我感觉好不好的问题
Self-esteem is essentially about feeling good or bad about ourselves

自卑 自恋 自我感觉不好 自我感觉良好......
Inferiority, narcissism, feeling bad or good about ourselves

都属于自尊的具体表现
are all specific manifestations of self-esteem

有的人自我感觉良好
Some people feel good about themselves

有的人自我感觉不好
others feel bad about themselves

也就是说
In other words

有些人比另外一些人更倾向于
some people are more inclined

积极地评价自己
to evaluate themselves positively than others

所以 自尊属于人格变量
so self-esteem is a personality variable

那么 你自我感觉好吗
So, do you feel good about yourself?

你希望对自己的感觉好还是感觉不好呢
Do you want to feel good about yourself or not?

其实 我们所有人都有强烈的维护自尊的动机
In fact, all of us have a strong motivation to maintain self-esteem

这影响了我们的思想和行为
which affects our thinking and behavior

第一 自尊动机会影响我们加工信息的方式
First, self-esteem motivation affects the way we process information

比如 当你赢了 或者输了
For example, when you win or lose

你会怎么解释
how would you explain it?

很多时候我们会想
Usually we think

我赢了 说明我够聪明
if I win, it means I'm smart enough

我输了 这不过是偶然的
if I lose, it's just by chance

我们采用不同的方法解释我们的输和赢
We explain our losses and wins in different ways

就是为了维护我们良好的自我感觉
in order to maintain our good sense of self

第二 自尊动机还会影响我们的人际关系
Second, self-esteem motivation also affects our relationships

很多同学上大学以后都会自我感觉不好
Many students will feel bad about themselves after they go to university

这是因为
This is because

他虽然在高中的时候学习很好
although he studied well in high school

但到了大学
when he go to university

周围优秀的人太多了
there are too many excellent people around him

自尊就会受到威胁
and his self-esteem will be threatened

最让我们感受到自尊威胁的人是谁呢
Who are the people who most make us feel the threat of self-esteem?

心理学家发现
Psychologists have found that

那些同行中的佼佼者同时又是情敌的人
those who are the best in the same trade and also the enemy of love

对自尊的威胁最大
pose the greatest threat to self-esteem

对于一个人来说 自尊水平高或者低 有什么影响呢
What is the effect of high or low self-esteem on a person?

1969年 美国心理学家纳撒尼尔·布兰登
In 1969, Nathaniel Branden, an American psychologist

出版了一本书叫 自尊心理学
published a book called Self-esteem Psychology

从那时开始
Since then

心理学家普遍发现
psychologists have generally found that

低自尊的人容易出现行为问题
people with low self-esteem were prone to behavior problems

比如 低自尊的人
For example, people with low self-esteem

更容易抑郁 滥用毒品 出现过失行为等
were more prone to depression, drug abuse, and negligent behavior

而高自尊的人
People with high self-esteem

倾向于主动 乐观 愉快
tended to be active, optimistic, and happy

所以在一些心理学家的倡议下
Therefore, under the initiative of some psychologists

上世纪70-80年代
in the 1970s and 1980s

在美国许多中小学
in many American primary and secondary schools

开展了所谓“自尊运动”
the so-called "The Self-Esteem Movement" was launched

目的是增强儿童的自尊
which aimed to enhance children's self-esteem

专家建议
Experts suggested that

无论孩子们做了什么事
no matter what children do

都要给予赞扬 肯定或奖励
they should be given praise, affirmation or reward

告诉自己的孩子
Parents should tell their children

他们是多么聪明 多么漂亮
how smart and beautiful they are

来提高儿童的自尊水平
to improve their self-esteem

许多学校甚至停止纠正学生
Many schools even stopped correcting students' mistakes

在拼写 语法和写作上的错误
in spelling, grammar and writing

唯恐阻碍了学生的创造力
lest they hinder their creativity

或者伤害了学生的自尊
or hurt their self-esteem

很多学校改变了奖励制度
Many schools changed the reward system

取消了比赛得分
cancelled the score of competition

取消了输赢评判
cancelled the judgment of winning and losing

理由也是害怕失利会伤害学生的自尊
because they were afraid of hurting the self-esteem of students

在自尊运动的影响下
Under the influence of self-esteem movement

美国的孩子普遍自我感觉良好
American children generally feel good about themselves

我女儿去年在美国一所不错的小学
When my daughter was in grade four of a good elementary school

读四年级的时候
in the United States last year

数学老师给他们班同学出了
the math teacher gave her class

几十道九九乘法表里面的乘法题
dozens of multiplication questions in the multiplication table

我想随便一个四年级的中国儿童
I thought any fourth grade Chinese child

都能很快完成这些题目并基本正确
can finish these questions quickly and correctly

但美国的四年级孩子
However, fourth graders in the U.S.

即使只对了一半左右
even they only finish about half of the questions correctly

都会觉得自己特别特别棒
They feel particularly awesome

自尊运动让学生成绩普遍虚涨
The self-esteem movement generally inflated the students' performance

并没有真正提高学习成绩
and did not really improve their academic performance

很差的学生也普遍得到表扬
poor students were generally praised

他们的负面行为被纵容了
and their negative behaviors were tolerated

自尊很高的人面对威胁时会表现出
people with high self-esteem would show

明显的敌意
obvious hostility when facing threats

他们在自尊心稍微受到一些伤害
when their self-esteem was slightly hurt

就会引发报复行为
they would show retaliation

受美国心理学会的委托
Commissioned by the American Psychological Association

布兰登对自尊运动进行了回顾
Branden reviewed the self-esteem movement

这位自尊运动的领袖发现
The leader of the self-esteem movement found that

过去那些关于自尊
in the past, studies on the positive correlation

与积极品质有正相关的研究
between self-esteem and positive character

很多都是设计不严谨
were not rigorous in design

基本上都是相关研究
and were basically correlation studie

得出自尊导致积极品质的
It was too hasty to conclude the causal relationship

因果关系结论过于仓促
between self-esteem and positive character

实际情况可能不是高自尊带来了积极品质
The reality may not be that high self-esteem causes positive character

而更有可能积极品质带来了高自尊
but more likely that positive character causes high self-esteem

因果关系颠倒了
The causal relationship is reversed

无论是从教育效果来看
Whether from the perspective of educational effect

还是从研究本身来看
or from the perspective of research itself

美国的自尊运动失败了
the self-esteem movement of America failed

美国儿童自尊培养过程中到底出了什么问题呢
What are the problems in the process of American children's self-esteem training?

后来的心理学家发现
Later psychologists found that

美国儿童不是因为表现良好而感觉良好
American children felt good not because they performed well

而是直接通过表扬让他们感觉良好
but because they felt good directly through praise

也就是说
That is to say

美国儿童的高自尊是夸出来的
the high self-esteem of American children is boasted

而不是在成长的过程中 通过健康的方式形成的
not formed in a healthy way in the process of growing up

那么 健康的 积极的自尊是怎么形成的呢
So, how does healthy, positive self-esteem come into being?

心理学家提出了两种模型
Psychologists put forward two models

情感模型认为
According to the emotional model

人们的自尊是在发展的早期形成的
people's self-esteem is formed in the early stage of development

在自尊形成过程中
In the process of self-esteem formation

有两个成分非常重要
two components are very important

第一个成分是归属感
The first component is a sense of belonging

如果儿童在早期受到父母无微不至的关怀
If children are taken good care of by their parents in the early stage

双方建立了亲密的依恋关系
and both sides establish close attachment

儿童就更有可能建立积极的自尊感
children are more likely to establish a positive sense of self-esteem

第二个成分是掌控感
The second component is the sense of control

强调儿童是否有机会
which emphasizes whether children have the opportunity

放松地 投入地做自己喜欢做的事情
to do what they like in a relaxed and engaged way

比如玩橡皮泥
For example, playing with plasticine

重要的不是最后完成了什么作品
is not about what work you finished

而是在玩的过程中有没有获得快乐
but whether you get happiness in the process of playing

认知模型认为
According to the cognitive model

人的整体自尊的形成遵循一个两阶段过程
the formation of people's overall self-esteem follows a two-stage process

在第一阶段
In the first stage

确定哪些领域对他们来说是重要的
which areas are important to them

是用来决定其自尊的
and are used to determine their self-esteem is determined

第二阶段
In the second stage

根据自己在自己所重视的领域的表现
according to the performance in the field we attach importance to

来评价自我形成人的整体自尊
overall self-esteem are formed

比如 有一个同学认为学习不重要
For example, one student thinks that learning is not important

但敢打架很重要
but fighting is very important

所以即使他学习不好
so even if he doesn't study well

也能自我感觉良好
he can feel good about himself

认知模型有个缺点
The disadvantage of cognitive models is that

就是人们有时会选择难以表现出色的领域
people sometimes choose areas that are difficult to perform well

比如 如果一个女孩认为长得漂亮最重要
For example, if a girl thinks that being beautiful is the most important

但她长得不漂亮
but she is not beautiful

又不大可能凭空变漂亮
and she is unlikely to become beautiful out of nothing

她就很难有良好的自我感觉了
it is difficult for her to have a good sense of self

但这种模型也有一个优点
But this model also has an advantage

要产生良好的自我感觉
To generate a good sense of self

并不需要在所有领域都表现好
you don't need to perform well in all areas

只在自己重视的领域表现好就可以了
and it’s okay to perform well only in the areas you attach great importance to

比如 一个大学老师
For example, although a university professor

虽然教学 科研等方面都很一般
does not very well in his teaching and scientific research

但他很正直
he is very honest

他认为做人最重要的就是正直
and he thinks that the most important thing in life is honesty

他也会产生良好的自我感觉
and he will also have a good sense of himself

所以 我们要有意识的调整自己
Therefore, we should consciously adjust ourselves

或者在教育子女的过程中
or in the process of educating

影响他们去重视那些
influence our children to pay attention to areas

通过努力可以提高的领域
that can be improved through efforts

比如能力 道德品质 人际关系等
such as ability, moral quality, interpersonal relationship, etc

希望大家都因为表现良好
I hope you all have a good sense of self because of your good performance

而不是因为别人吹捧而产生良好的自我感觉
not because of others' praise

好 今天的内容就到这里
OK, that's all for today

现在回顾一下主要内容
Now let's review the main content

今天我们讲了
Today we talked about

自尊就是对自己的自我概念的评价
self-esteem was the evaluation of self-concept

我们的自尊动机会影响我们的信息加工方式
Our self-esteem motivation will affect our way of information processing

美国的自尊运动曾经非常火热
The self-esteem movement in the United States was once very prevalent

但后来失败了
but later failed

自尊的的形成
The formation of self-esteem

遵从情感模型和认知模型
follows the emotional model and cognitive model

好 谢谢大家
OK, thank you